Manipulator

Do you know what is like to have someone so close to you whom you love, trick everyone you have in common into hating you? Blinding them with words and lies about how you are not worthy of their respect, trust or love. To the point they start to feel the same way the manipulator does about you. So, they start to sound like the manipulator. You can see the fake in their eyes and hear it in their words.

You being oblivious to their deep feelings towards you, in some cases giving them so much of yourself throughout the years. Unable to tell they have been wearing a mask.

Do you know what is like to give so much to that someone without question, most of the time taking away from self just to please them, to see them happy yet they could never find the please or happiness.

They are too busy always asking and needing more, so you give more till you can't no more.

Till one day God, life, the situations open your eyes to their masks and doings…

Now you find yourself at a level of anger you have never felt before, with tears in your eyes questioning, who is this monster?

Or am I the monster for allowing all of it to get this far? Am I wrong for defending myself? What have I done? Asking for space and a break. A break from giving because now I am the one in need of help, is that something I even deserve? HELP? Their support? Do they even know what that is to be on the other side of the coin? Giving and helping without expecting?

But their cry and voice, makes it all so confusing. Asking me why are you acting so illusive? You don't need help. Just get over yourself. And now you want me to leave? First you ask for help and now you want me to leave?

How could you ask me to leave? After all I have done for you! How dare you ask me to leave and give you a break from me? What therapy? Please forgive me, IF I have done you wrong forgive me.

Their words…

Making you question yourself, are you making the right decision? Asking them to just leave. They do not seem to realize what they have been doing wrong all along. Am I wrong? Is it all a figment of my imagination? I mean this is not the first time this happens; I forgive and then they do it all over again each time worse.

But when! When are you going to finally stand up for yourself and put yourself first? Let me guess you can't because your manipulator is you mother? your father? A partner? A grown child? Your boss? Hmm.

One day you will. One day you will see. One day you will understand God did not send you to Mother Earth to be abused, not mentally, not physically, not emotionally specially not by the ones who are supposed to be loving and protecting you. That day you will choose you, no matter who the manipulator is, you will choose you.

XOXOXO